(Less fun than the great Joan Hess's Mortal Remains in Maggody, but tidier, one hopes!)
Having been, in main, monstrously ill-used by physicians all my life, I loathe them as a species. This may be unfair and simply mine own schemazel... Though comparable fates seem to be / have been similarly shared by millions, and the sins of individual physicians welded and well mix't with institutional and (at least quasi-) governmental policy & mandate. My moral, yet self-serving-in-many ways answer to the problem of my wanting to KILLLLLLLLLL them like I'd want to kill a nest of wasps at a nursery school, is that I've, for more than a decade, given up going to them (with the possible exception of certain quick/cheap patch jobs and Issues of Public Health. So far, despite innumerable conditions and occasions that would have sent many others to the hospital, in more than a decade, I've only decided: I can has tetanus shot). Besides not having any money, anyway.,
Similarly, from reasons of practicality, 'tude and aesthetics, as I skip at-least-weekly back 'n' forth between Is This Spell Gonna Kill Me Today (?) or Am I at the Point of Being More of a Deplorable Burden to Myself and Others Than A Help (?) and I Can Do This and Make My Breathing (limited as it is) Worthwhile, I contemplate the best things to do with my mortal remains.
It's too cruel an irony for 'way more money to be spent on disposing of my corpse than on real me while still in-body. At first I liked the Giving My Body to Science option, but the diabolical uses to which the industry of Spare Tissue --including that Untimely Rip'd from wombs and the Excess (Third World / poor) Population, made me remove my Donor Dot and Just Say No. I kinda think immune-suppressing drugs for organ transplants had a lot to do with the development of HIV/AIDS, anyway. There are few legally dedicated Green Burial sites, unfortunately, and there's a whole expensive rigamarole for being Dumped in the Ocean, including previous cremation (uhhaggggh, fie, yuchh!!). What Sounds Really Good to Me is:
THE PAIUTE WAY (and the CAT Way; I am Decrepit Catwoman!)~ When a person definitely feels (he or) she's going to be More of a Wretched Burden Than NOT, she goes on walkabout to uninhabited places till she breaks down and dies, with any luck having been able to find some hidey-crevice to lie down in and pull a buncha leaves over herself. THAT's GRACIOUS.
That's what I want to do if I can. It may be really mistaken; I hope it won't make anything worse for my survivors or anyone. God bless them and guide me right!!!
(I'm not going just yet-!).